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Coming to an End

Today I realized that my first year of college is already about to be over in less than two weeks. Honestly it seems like I just started yesterday, I still remember what I wore on the first day of school. I was so nervous that day, not knowing anyone really and being at a new level of school. I guess I just did not know what to expect, but I am glad to say that college has truly been the best decision of my life. At the beginning of the year I was caught up in this idea of wanting to be a teacher because I did not know what I wanted to do, so I can it was just an easy way out for me. After the first semester ended and we had had winter break, I found out what I wanted to actually do. Which is nursing, I have always thought about it but at the same time I had people in my ear telling it was going to be hard for me. I finally became strong enough to speak up for myself, and make my own decisions that I want for my life. I think that is what my first year of college has taught me, how me...
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Tatted

So here is the update on my tattoos. When I went i brought a friend with me just so I was not alone. As I walked through the door I am not going to lie I instantly got nervous. You know when you get that little panic attack inside, and then your hands get sweaty. Well that is exactly what happened, thank god my friend was there to hold my hand because I did not think I was going to be able to do it. The girl Amber who did my tattoos was super nice, and she really knew what she was doing. Which definitely made me more comfortable and relaxed me. Just knowing you have someone who is so professional gives you comfort to trust them with putting something permanent on your body. The first tattoo I got done was my capricorn sign on the side boob area, like under my armpit. Before she started she had warned that the placement was a touchy spot for most people because there is bone there. As soon she started it, it was like a little bee sting almost but totally tolerable. It definitely was no...
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Ink

This week I have a tattoo appointment so I wanted to talk about all the details. My appointment is this Saturday at three pm, at the Electric Fox. It's located in downtown Modesto, which is pretty chill considering I live in Modesto. The girl doing my tattoos is named Amber, she has done all of my step dads tattoos, so I am excited to get work done by her. You probably noticed that I said tattoos, I am getting a total of three tattoos. One is actually a touch up one which is located on the inside of my lip. For those wondering what is on my lip it is the number thirteen. I know it sounds crazy, but I actually got the number tattooed on me so I could remember to never be scared of anything. Usually people find the number unlucky and believe it comes with bad karma. One of the new tattoos that im getting done is my grandmas nickname on the inside of my finger. When I was kid my mom had me young so my grandma was a young grandmother. She thought grandma sounded too old so we all call...
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New me. Who this?

Today I am going to be completely real with you guys. Going into highschool my freshman year my step dad and my mom were going through a rough patch in their relationship. As my freshman year was coming to an end, I found out my mother was cheating on my only father figure. When coming out and telling my family they quickly lashed back on me, they called me a liar. After that I noticed that they would push me away, because they thought I was just trying to cause problems. My breaking point was when my mom told me I was a liar like my real father. Never have I felt do empty after being told that, especially knowing that I was telling the truth. That is when my actions started changing, I quickly began to act out. I was sneaking out at a young age, just being reckless. I began taking drugs my sophomore year, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I was definitely in dark place and the drugs brought temporary happiness. Quickly I began using drugs every day, I became addicted. Being addicted...
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Two Picks

Have you ever wanted two things at the same time, but you can only have one. I am stuck in this situation where I feel like the devil is on one shoulder and the angel on the other. Both have their pros and cons, but I am still torn between the two. You know how every cliche movie has a situation and there is always that person who says to follow your heart. Well what if your heart does not know what it wants, or what if it wants someone else to decide. I guess that is apart of growing up, you have to make decisions even when do not want to because that is apart of life. You have to learn through trial and error, so I guess growing up sucks. Why do they not warn you when your a kid, and all you can think about is how bad you want be old. It is crazy how life works, it is like a never ending rollercoaster until the rollercoaster finally breaks down because it is too old to function. Well back to my situation, so what do you do when on one side your happy and everything is just easy, bu...
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Workout Time

The other day I noticed that I really need to start going to the gym again. I used to always be in shape, like really toned everywhere. Now I am skinny, but I just look like I lost all my tight toned skin. Lately all I eat is candy it is becoming a scary thing. On the side of my bed there is at least two bags of candy, or sometimes there is chips and ice cream. I have the worst eating habits, but I never really realized it because I was always in softball so it kept me in shape. Now that I am not playing anymore I guess I just stopped working out. I mean my grandma tells me I am so skinny and she does not understand that I know I am small, I am just not tone. Today is the day I start my diet, no more late night in n out trips and definitely no more taco truck. Plus it is time for daily runs and trips to the gym. Wow this is seriously going to be the most difficult thing of my life. Seriously I eat taco truck at least once a week, sounds crazy but I am being dead honest. You want to kn...
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Im Feeling Myself

What is going on everybody! Lately I have been in the best mood, like no negative energy. I catch myself just hyping myself up. Recently I made the choice to hand a few people the scissors. I felt like they were just really two faced all the time, and I just found myself getting tired of their bullshit. I am a really drama free person, so when they were cut off it was a major relief. Since then I feel like a whole new me, you can feel it in my energy. Wow I just realized how cliche I sound, oh well get over it. Usually I am uncomfortable to be me around new people but I realized you have to just be yourself. You can not pretend to be someone you are not because then you can never be truly happy. When I was around toxic people I found myself losing pieces of myself trying to be someone I am not. Now I feel like in complete boss mode, like seriously I will just get super turnt out of nowhere because I am so happy with life. My skin glowing and my hair growing, if you are a female you k...
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